Mark Twain Quotes

American - Author November 30, 1835 - April 21, 1910

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Motivational Getting Started Ahead Getting Secret Started The Secret Of

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

People Who Group Things Accomplish Accomplished Basically Claim Crowded First Less Two Types

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Funny You Facts Your Distort First Get Please Them Then

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Best Morning Your Job Biggest Eat First First Thing Frog Frogs Thing Two

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Today Nothing Cannot Happen Apparently

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Life Good Friends Conscience Books Good Friends Ideal Sleepy

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Truth You Remember Tell Anything

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Education Your Interfere Schooling

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Myself Politics You Idiot Congress Member Repeat Suppose Were

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Anger More Anything Acid Harm Poured Stored Than Vessel Which

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

You Fool People Better Brainy Closed Doubt Keep Mouth Open Remove Than Think Your

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Kindness Blind See Language Deaf Hear Which

Top 10
Mark Twain
Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

People Rest Will The Right Thing Astonish Do The Right Thing Gratify Right Right Thing Some Some People Thing

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Funny Hell Go Heaven Climate Company

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

You Look Getting Your Begin Flatter Friends Getting Old How Old Sign Sure Sure Sign Young

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

You Tomorrow Day Never Off After Put Till

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Life Success You Ignorance Confidence Need Success Is Sure Then

We have the best government that money can buy.

Best Money Government Buy

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

Society Skin Person More Clothing Course Demands Finest Made Own Something Than

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Best Yourself Way Try Best Way Cheer Else Somebody Up

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Love You Heart Brain Bait Fish Your

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Laughter Human Race Human Race Effective Really Weapon

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Weather Climate Get Expect

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Patriotism Who Person He About Hollering Knowing Loudest Patriot Without

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Education Who Person Over Advantage Read

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Health You May Die Reading About Be Careful Books Careful

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Man Own Cannot Without Comfortable Approval His

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Name Accident Greatest Inventors

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

You Way Things Cannot Any Any Other Way Cat Hold Learn Other Tail

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Education Nothing College Cabbage Cauliflower College Education

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.

Beginning Educated Use Except Southerner Word

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

Success New Person Until Crank Idea New Idea Succeeds

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Lie Only Difference Cat Nine Between Lives Main

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Nothing Egg Who She Asteroid Hen Laid Merely Noise Often Proves

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Humor Secret Joy Heaven Sorrow Source

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

Truth Will Nothing Truth Is Except Mighty Prevail Wrong

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Man Liar Never More He Acknowledge Himself Than Truthful

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

Gold Everything Cannot Educated Iron Limit Ore

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Better Deserve Than Them Honors

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

Lightning Trouble Right Fools Too Distributed Many

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Words Action Than Louder Nearly Often Speaks

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

Land Making Buy Anymore

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Health You Way Your Diet Drink Eat Keep Like Only Rather Want

Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Die Will Live Sorry Us Come Endeavor Even Let Us Undertaker

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

Man Dumb Animal Like Because Call Dull His Just Perceptions Vanity

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Courage World Curious Moral Common Moral Courage Physical Physical Courage Rare Should

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

You Thoughts Way Your Any Any Other Way Away Drag Ears Heels Manage Other Troubles

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Work Good Lightning Thunder Does Impressive

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Mother Mom Me Great Deal Enjoyed Great Deal Had She Think Trouble I Think

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Life Age Born Only Approach Could Eighteen Eighty Gradually Happier Infinitely Would Would-Be

Related Authors

Ravi Zacharias
Quotes

Henry David Thoreau
Quotes

Helen Keller
Quotes

Zig Ziglar
Quotes

Joseph Campbell
Quotes

Nora Ephron
Quotes

Bret Harte
Quotes

Frederick Douglass
Quotes

29Quotes © 2020

About Us

A site designed to inspire you to grow, achieve success, stay well, and live an abundant life.

Quote of the Day