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Mark Twain Quotes
American
-
Author
November 30, 1835 - April 21, 1910
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Mark Twain
Motivational
Getting Started
Ahead
Getting
Secret
Started
The Secret Of
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
People
Who
Group
Things
Accomplish
Accomplished
Basically
Claim
Crowded
First
Less
Two
Types
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Funny
You
Facts
Your
Distort
First
Get
Please
Them
Then
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
Best
Morning
Your
Job
Biggest
Eat
First
First Thing
Frog
Frogs
Thing
Two
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Today
Nothing
Cannot
Happen
Apparently
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Life
Good
Friends
Conscience
Books
Good Friends
Ideal
Sleepy
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Truth
You
Remember
Tell
Anything
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Education
Your
Interfere
Schooling
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Myself
Politics
You
Idiot
Congress
Member
Repeat
Suppose
Were
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Anger
More
Anything
Acid
Harm
Poured
Stored
Than
Vessel
Which
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
You
Fool
People
Better
Brainy
Closed
Doubt
Keep
Mouth
Open
Remove
Than
Think
Your
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Kindness
Blind
See
Language
Deaf
Hear
Which
Top 10
Mark Twain
Quotes
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Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
People
Rest
Will
The Right Thing
Astonish
Do The Right Thing
Gratify
Right
Right Thing
Some
Some People
Thing
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
Funny
Hell
Go
Heaven
Climate
Company
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
You
Look
Getting
Your
Begin
Flatter
Friends
Getting Old
How
Old
Sign
Sure
Sure Sign
Young
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
You
Tomorrow
Day
Never
Off
After
Put
Till
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Life
Success
You
Ignorance
Confidence
Need
Success Is
Sure
Then
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
Best
Money
Government
Buy
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
Mark Twain
Society
Skin
Person
More
Clothing
Course
Demands
Finest
Made
Own
Something
Than
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
Best
Yourself
Way
Try
Best Way
Cheer
Else
Somebody
Up
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
Love
You
Heart
Brain
Bait
Fish
Your
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
Laughter
Human
Race
Human Race
Effective
Really
Weapon
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Weather
Climate
Get
Expect
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain
Patriotism
Who
Person
He
About
Hollering
Knowing
Loudest
Patriot
Without
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
Education
Who
Person
Over
Advantage
Read
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Health
You
May
Die
Reading
About
Be Careful
Books
Careful
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
Man
Own
Cannot
Without
Comfortable
Approval
His
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
Name
Accident
Greatest
Inventors
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
You
Way
Things
Cannot
Any
Any Other Way
Cat
Hold
Learn
Other
Tail
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Education
Nothing
College
Cabbage
Cauliflower
College Education
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
Mark Twain
Beginning
Educated
Use
Except
Southerner
Word
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
Success
New
Person
Until
Crank
Idea
New Idea
Succeeds
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain
Lie
Only
Difference
Cat
Nine
Between
Lives
Main
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
Nothing
Egg
Who
She
Asteroid
Hen
Laid
Merely
Noise
Often
Proves
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain
Humor
Secret
Joy
Heaven
Sorrow
Source
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Truth
Will
Nothing
Truth Is
Except
Mighty
Prevail
Wrong
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
Man
Liar
Never
More
He
Acknowledge
Himself
Than
Truthful
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Gold
Everything
Cannot
Educated
Iron
Limit
Ore
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
Better
Deserve
Than
Them
Honors
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain
Lightning
Trouble
Right
Fools
Too
Distributed
Many
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
Words
Action
Than
Louder
Nearly
Often
Speaks
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
Mark Twain
Land
Making
Buy
Anymore
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
Health
You
Way
Your
Diet
Drink
Eat
Keep
Like
Only
Rather
Want
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
Die
Will
Live
Sorry
Us
Come
Endeavor
Even
Let Us
Undertaker
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
Man
Dumb
Animal
Like
Because
Call
Dull
His
Just
Perceptions
Vanity
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
Courage
World
Curious
Moral
Common
Moral Courage
Physical
Physical Courage
Rare
Should
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
You
Thoughts
Way
Your
Any
Any Other Way
Away
Drag
Ears
Heels
Manage
Other
Troubles
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain
Work
Good
Lightning
Thunder
Does
Impressive
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
Mother
Mom
Me
Great
Deal
Enjoyed
Great Deal
Had
She
Think
Trouble
I Think
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
Life
Age
Born
Only
Approach
Could
Eighteen
Eighty
Gradually
Happier
Infinitely
Would
Would-Be
Prev
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